My own special brand of crazy

Red seemed like an appropriate color for my post today. 

I'm in my own little world of neurosis right now.  Well, really it was Sunday night from about 11pm-2am.  And, well, ok, it didn't stop then, I just fell asleep.

husband worked for years with one company - and he'd have his employees over to the house a couple times a year for "team building" or some such BS.  They'd come, eat lunch, goof off, get to know each other better, do end of the year reviews, whatever.  Well, when he was at "old company" he'd been there 10 years.  I knew those people.  They knew "MY OWN SPECIAL BRAND OF CRAZY".  They didn't really care if my house wasn't spotless - and they saw my children on a semi-regular basis, so if I didn't have recent pics up of them - you know, who cares.  Well, he got a new job.  he invites 15 or so of his new employees to the house for same team building BS.  I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE, THEY DON'T KNOW ME.  So, house must be clean - and, really, it wasn't the shine the baseboards type of clean - but, I haven't dusted in a while kind of clean Iwas after... Anyway, that wasn't even my biggest obsession.  I walked into the "hall of pictures" and realized that my youngest was represented as a newborn, as a 9 month old, as a 1 year old, and as a 2 year old.  She's 6 now.  And on the flip side - my oldest showed up at a year, 18 months, 2, and 4.  She's 8 now.  So, I framed a few pictures to prove that I was NOT a bad mom who never updated pics of the girls - by the way - that really only means I added 3 pics - one of each of them from their recital and one of the 2 of them together dressed for the recital - but at least I had current pics of my kids ON THE WALL DAMNIT. 

I started trying to see me (as represented by my house, and well, specifically, my pictures) through the eyes of these total strangers.  All of a sudden, I'm a horrible mother.  I don't photograph my children (which, if you know me, you know this is NOT true), I don't display pictures of my children, there is DUST on top of the picture frames, not to mention the buffet table, and, there is a half finished painting on my easel that I can't quite figure out where to go with it...  I'm a horrible horrible mom.  I'm a lazy housekeeper (well, ok, you've got me there).  BUT, they were served grilled angel food cake with fresh fruit (my personal recipe), so, maybe I'm ok. 

Maybe I'm an ok mom, not the best - I just got an earful from the pediatric dentist because I *gasp* oh the horror, let them drink apple juice and tea.  He made them promise to never drink it again.  the baby cried.  "mommy, can we Neavah (thick southern tears) have apple juice again?"  So, I'm an even worse mommy because I said, "You can ABSOLUTELY have apple juice, and sweet tea, we'll just keep coming back and letting him clean your teeth."  F.  Give me a big giant F, right on my forehead.  That's ok. 

But, I'm a pretty good at being a failure mom, a lazy housekeeper, a pretty good cook, and, well, if they are going to work for the husband, they are going to have to learn my own special brand of crazy.... and love me or get the hell out of my house :D

thank you, the end.